Buried Alive

I have felt buried alive in many different ways through life,  however,  we're not going to dig that deep today. Pun clearly intended. 

Yesterday,  August 27, 2021 around 2:15ish pm I realized all I had eaten was a banana,  and was feeling hungry. So I went to the kitchen, started cooking some bacon and was going to have some bacon and eggs. Yum!

I put the bacon that I wasn't using in the fridge and saw that the light was out. I thought to myself "hhhmmmm,  is the fridge out? Or is the lightbulb just out?"

I walked to the back of the refrigerator to make sure the plug was still in, it was. As I came around to the front of the fridge and grabbed the freezer handle, I also kicked a broom that was leaning against the side of the fridge with my left foot, slipped on the bristles with my right foot and that's when it all went down. Literally. 

My life flashed before my eyes! All at once as my legs started to do a split that they were never intended for, the freezer door flew open, and before I knew it, myself the freezer, all of the contents in the fridge and freezer and on top of the freezer, where unceremoniously crashing to the floor in a rather slow motion ungodly heap!!

My first thought was, as I watched it all coming towards me as though I were the Wicked Witch of the West being smooshed by Dorothy's house, was this; "Please don't break me!! I'm going on vacation soon!!"

My second thought, as I lay there with my legs tangled at a very strange angle; the broom handle under one leg and over the other with approximately 300 lbs of refrigerator and food lying on top of me, was "Well,  that just happened!"

Which immediately sent me into fits of laughter wondering how I must look laying there with half my body under a refrigerator and what if someone walked in right now...... oh man,  ya. I hope someone walks in right now!!!  Like RIGHT NOW!

Then the panic set in. At first I was naive enough to think I could just move it off of myself. I mean,  after all, I pulled it down so easily. I tried to move a little bit to no avail. Realized I was in a lot of pain..... Annnnd there came the tears.  Lots of loud, I don't care who is hearing me oh, "actually I hope someone does hear me" great big baby tears and then I shouted "DYLAN!!!!!" at the top of my lungs.   Hoping upon hope that he might hear me,  wake up (he works 3rd shift) and come to my rescue!

"God, please wake him up!!!"

I heard my phone dinging with notifications of texts from my friend I had been talking to just prior to my collapse, out of  reach in the next room. Music from my playlist was still playing like everything was right with the world.....

"stupid music".. "stupid phone"...."I'm glad I had just turned the bacon wwwaayyy down."

Here comes the hysterical laughter as I think again about how utterly ridiculous I must look to .......NO ONE, because NO ONE IS EVER COMING,  laying flat on my back under a fridge aaaaannmddd tears again. Bawling loudly like a baby with a dirty diaper,  needing changed!! 

"Where's my left slipper? My foot is cold.......is that pickle juice I smell?  Oh, there's a paint brush,  where did THAT come from?  Who cares?"

I start banging the handle of the brush on the cabinet behind me,  then the fridge,  figuring out what makes the loudest banging noise, yelling "DYLANNNNN!!!!!" at the top of my lungs. 

I cry some more.  For a millisecond, I think "maybe I'll just take a nap and ride this thing out!"

But then parts of me would start to ache again and I realized if I did that,  and the boys came home or went out after it got dark and I was snoozing under the fridge,  I may be there all night into the next day!!!!

"Is this how old people feel when they've fallen and can't get up?? What I wouldn't give for one of those buttons right now!! What am I saying??? I'm not old. A refrigerator just 'happened' to fall on me.........(tears) I..... don't..... want..... to be old and aaaaallooonneee!!! Wwwaaahhhhhhhh"

"DYLAN !!!!!!" "DYLAN!!!!!"

Breathe......"Lord,  I'm sure You know by now that im trapped under this fridge. I'm not sure what you might be wanting to teach me in this..... wait a minute..... Jesus didn't just push this fridge on me what am I thinking!?!?" Me and Jesus have a good chuckle over that one... then....."could you just give me the strength to get out of here??"

I wriggle around some more,  push,  nothing.  I do,  however,  manage to get the broom out and feel immediate relief to my legs and straighten them out  somewhat.  Now both feet are literally sticking out from under the side of the fridge at an angle and I think of the wicked witch scene again giggle..... louder..... then start this weird laughing/ crying thing all at the same time!!! 

"DDDDYYYYYLLLLAAANNNNN!!!!"

I calm down a little and examine my surroundings once again.  "Man Julie,  the neighbors are going to hear you and think something really horrible is going on between you and Dylan..... what?!?! Something horrible IS happening. What am I thinking?? I'm trapped under my ReFrigErATOR!!!!!"

"DDDYYYYYYYYLLLLLAAAAANNNNN!!!!"

"How in the world did that clock get into the freezer?' (It was half in half out) 

I look to my right.....a bag of frozen corn.... "interesting. Clock in,  corn out. Ok"

"I wonder if I just start slamming this cupboard door behind me if it will make a bigger noise?"

SLAM. SLAM. SLAM DDDYYYYLLLLAANNNN!!!! SLAM!!!!!!!!

I take a break. Being stuck under a refrigerator takes a lot out of a girl.  

My dog Chip hasn't made one single appearance. Not a bark,  nary a yap!!! "Stupid dog!"

"Hhhmmmm at least the top is now cleaned off!  Good job Jewels!!" I tell myself as I blow one last hanger-onner piece of dust away!!

"Ok. My ribs kinda hurt now. Enough is enough and too much is nasty",  as my mom always said..... "I'm getting out of here!!"

I struggle,  cry and moan a lot,  but my right leg and foot and part of my abdomen are finally free!!!  All the weight was now on my left leg and foot for the most part. If I try one way,  I'm sure I will break my foot. The other direction and I'll probably snap my hip. Nope. No can do. Not breaking anything today satan!!

I muster up all my inner Warr;or, pray for some help and pppuuuuuuushhhhh

I sounded like I was giving birth or in one of those heroic movies lifting a car off of a wounded child ....... stop!!!!

It feels like it's going to rip the skin right off my leg. I know what I have to do and hope I have the strength and don't pop that abdominal hernia back open ..... with everything in me I lift. It only moves a little bit,  but was enough that I could push without feeling like my skin was going with it!!!!

I had to repeat this process several times,  and eventually,  I'm FREE!!!!

All in all,  this was about a forty- five min to an hour ordeal. 

I sit there for a moment,  taking it all in. Thanking God for that last bit of strength especially,  and stumble... one slipper on the other, lost in the rubble,  from the wreckage that I once called a kitchen. 

I think I must have still been in a bit of shock when the first thing I actually did was text my friend something like;

"Hey, sorry for the delay,  i just climbed out from under my refrigerator. 

I'm ok. I'll explain later. 

Have a good time tonight"

It's no surprise then that when i called Trevor to see when he was coming home I was laughcrying when he answered.  I calmed down enough and said....

"Hey. Are you coming home soon?"

"I.... can?"

"Yes. If you could please,  that would be great. Something kind of tragic happened and I need your help cleaning it up."

I have NO Idea what ran through my sons head in that moment,  but can only imagine. He almost timidly asked "what?"

I told him

Dead silence

"Are... you,  are you ok? Hey,  I'm putting you on speaker phone"

Of course,  because the laughcrying was now in full effect. He wanted to share this rare treasure they have called mom for twenty years.....I didn't care anymore.  I let ALLLLL My crazy hang out,  I couldn't care anymore.  Trevor was howling,  I was howling,  I heard giggling in the background....

He came home and said "Jossie (his gf) said we need to get you a Life Alert!!"

He ran upstairs to get Dylan to help. That fridge is HEAVY.... he came back downstairs with a look I've never seen before.  Apologetic,  on the verge of something else..... what was it???

FINALLY he says " uh, Dylan's not even here...." 

😂😂

This time Trevor gets to make a weird phone call to a family member,  but doesn't tell him anything other than; something happened.... Mom needs our help. Once both boys are here I simply look at my one slippered one not feet, so Dylan did the same. I look pretty frazzled and he asks almost afraid of the answer I think...."what happened??

Trevor and I take him to the kitchen, explain everything and all of the sudden I burst into tears and say "I'm just still really hungry!"

They look at each other rather concerned,  and not necessarily about my hunger,  but in a way that said "do we need to take her somewhere??"

It took both of my 20 year old muscular sons and myself to get that stupid fridge lifted back in place!!!! Those things are heavy!!!

We cleaned up the sweet pickles that seemed to be EVERYWHERE and the rest of the kitchen disaster.  Dylan kindly got us some food,  and I went to get checked out.  Nothing broken inside or out physically. Im bruised and sore but not broken.  Medical staff all wanted to know "Can I just ask....how?  I mean,  how??"

"You've GOT to be some sort of weird statistic!"

I just wanted to say,  "sister!! you👏 don't 👏even👏 KNOW!!!!" to that one. 

After 8 hours,  not a jot of tylenol,  being recognized in the waiting room by total strangers because of my "refrigerator video" 😳  I finally got home,  got a shower and slept. 

I will admit, I haven't opened that darn fridge until this evening when replenishing a few things.....Chip must have watched it all go down yesterday. As I opened the door to put the milk away,  not only did I honestly feel a little Refrigerator PTSD, (not a joke) but I saw Chip walk back like he does when I get a new trash bag out, (he hates those things!!)

I wonder how long I'll be a little afraid of refrigerators ? 

"And my little dog too!!"