Relationships and Yard Sales

Relationships and Yard Sales....

It's taken me so long in this life to realize that I don't like or need either of them. 

Relationships to me,  have been a lot like having a yard sale. 

They both require way more energy than I truly have. 

(* FYI I'm talking about love relationships)

They both require change from me.... I mean,  really....if I had change to give,  would I be selling my crap in a yard sale? No! But what do I do?  I scrounge up the last few dollars I have and turn it into change so that I'm prepared when strangers come into my yard, judge my personal belongings,  and talk me down because $1 is suddenly way too much to spend on a pair of jeans. 

In relationships, I usually change into someone else completely. Someone who goes along for the sake of peace. Who doesn't like to argue so I change my wants,  needs and desires to coincide with what the other person needs. Turn into someone who decides being partially or occasionally happy is good enough. Someone who is so afraid to hurt others,  that I'll hurt me instead by staying and caring when the other person just eats it all up without giving back or has already checked out long ago but likes what they receive from me. 

Change in both situations sucks! I like me much better the way I am.   AND, you know what? Yes, my almost new jeans are certainly worth your $1!!

In both cases; Relationships and Yard Sales, you lay out parts of you and invite virtual strangers to plunder through all your personal treasures and tragedies. Some great,  some beat up but still pretty in its own way, some ugly.... you open yourself up to judgement,  harassment,  thievery all for a potential return for your efforts and hard work....

The work!! So much work! Pricing my unwanted or unused JUNK takes time and effort that I hate giving,  but I tell myself "I NEED to do this!"  So I lug out anything and everything we don't want or need anymore,  give it a price that is totally less than it's worth,  set up tables,  tents and clothes lines, break my back,  get stung by bees, sweat and smile at people who say "would ya take any less?" and then when it's done,  lug,  break down,  take down and drive to town to drop the leftovers at the Goodwill all for what? A few extra dollars? Paaalease!!!

When it comes to relationships I put in tons of work also.  When I'm in,  I'm all in. I want to have fun and feel happy,  so I give it all I've got and it's usually Just. Not. Worth. It. I never get back what I give. Blood,  sweat and tears for what?  Just to be hurt and dissaponted in the end,  sometimes with pain that lasts forever!

After a yard sale,  my house is in shambles because I haven't had time for anything but the yard sale and now I'm too tired to do anything about it. So I suffer for a few days and then clean up and feel SO relieved that it's over I swear I will NEVER do that again. I like my peace and quiet. It wasn't worth the chaos!!  A burden is lifted and I shake my head at myself and say "Why did you do that? You know it's never worth it?!" I start to think back to all the yard sales I've done, and I remember hating those also!! "LEARN YOUR LESSON JULIE!! Next time take it all straight to Goodwill and walk away!!"

After a failed relationship,  my heart and my "house" are left in shambles. The depression that comes with once again putting my all into it without anything but scars to show for it. The exhaustion, the emptiness.  For what? A little bit of pleasure? A little bit of feeling like I belong to someone? "Why did you do that? You know it's never worth it!!" Then I think back to every single failed reltionship and I remember that after each drama filled,  happiness seeking,  life sucking , heartbreaking time they're actually over...I feel;

Relief!

So I tell myself; "LEARN YOUR LESSON JULIE!! Your life is much happier and a whole lot smoother when there are no relationships!!

or yard sales!!"

All the planning, preparation,  hurdles jumped,  finances finagled, money saved and earned,  boundaries and borders crossed,  packing and repacking done,  hoops jumped through and bypassed, uncomfortable situations,  anxious thoughts & feelings,  waters crossed,  2 cents & figs given & taken, time invested,  sweat & hard work in the world doesn't matter to ANY ONE ELSE as much as it all does to you yourself!

But I KNOW THIS....I Like Me!  I may hate yard sales and be bad at relationships,  but I like my life when neither are present in it.  I like not having to answer to anyone but my Savior. I like how strong I am because of and in spite of the Hell I've walked through; Sometimes by my own hand and many times by someone else's. I like that I still love people and give of myself. I like that I'm someone you can count on if you need me. I like that I write. I like that I sing.  I like that I'm funny!! (Even when I'm not meaning to be) I like that my heart has been shattered to pieces because it gives me the grace to understand yours better! I like that things aren't easy for me because it makes me push harder.  I like that I'm broke because I appreciate more. I like that I've loved my kids completely and fully and what they don't understand of that now,   they will some day.  I like that I can still smile and laugh through the tears. I like that when I'm lost,  I am ALWAYS FOUND 👏 by or through the ONLY One that matters!!! 👏 I like that I'm in competition with no one. I like that I can be genuinely happy for others success.  I like my will to survive. I may not be your cup of tea, but I  like my Tea. My Story. My Path. My Healing. I like it. It's Mine! You don't have to like me or my junk, Because I do!!  I like me!! And I am LOVED completely and thoroughly by Jesus Christ! Bought and paid for by His AMAZING Grace. Fought for,  Desired,  Longed for like THE Best Treasure that was ever lost and has been Discovered and Prized!!!

Yes indeed. ❤ I like me and my life so much better without:

Relationships and Yard Sales getting in the way of any of that. The rewards are so much better. 

LEARN JULIE..... don't forget again. 

https://youtu.be/KHMVSdIjBcg