A friend of mine recently asked me, "I wonder, if it not only means that Joy Comes In The MORNING but also through the MOURNING?" We both sat and thought about that as we remembered a young man that we both loved. He had just passed away and left so many people feeling devastated. He had been saved and baptized only months before he lost his battle with addiction.
I thought about the day I first met Daniel and Zach. I went to recovery meetings at church with my then husband who also was a recovering addict. Those two guys were rotten, and sweet, and mischievous, and funny and ..... loving.
They and I began a friendship right away that was like siblings. Picked on each other and loved each other.
I thought back to the abuse I endured from my husband at the time and after I had finally asked him to leave, how devastated I was feeling one night. The pain in my heart too great to bare. I felt so alone. There was really no one who understood or even knew all that I was going through or had endured, and it was a lonely placero be.
One night, feeling overwhelmingly lost and desperately sad and in no way dressed to go anywhere, I slipped on my slippers, threw on a coat, teeth and hair both unbrushed, got into my car and just drove. I drove and cried with no destination in mind. No plan. Feeling numb.
My great God had plan though. I got to a certain area and was reminded what day and time it was, turned my car in the direction of the meeting, and drove to the church. I needed people that I knew would accept me no matter what condition I came in. I needed people who understood hard times. I needed my people. They had become my support also, my family.
I walked in and sat down. Someone asked if I was OK. I said yes and told them to continue. Another wife caught my eye to ask if I wanted to talk. I nodded my head just barely. I felt like I was "there but not there."
We left the room to talk then in a little bit someone came to get us for prayer. We rejoined the group, there was prayer, then .... there was prayer for me. My Recovery Family gathered to pray for me. Daniel prayed for me. When it was over Zach and then Daniel both came to me through the others. They each hugged me and each whispered "I love you."
Those words from those two men, my brothers, meant more to me than just about anything anyone had to say at that time. They saw my pain. I think they felt it; their hearts recognized pain. They were family. They cared.
It's been a little over two years since that night. I quit going to meetings. I've heard Zach is doing really well and is engaged. And now; Daniel is gone.
I went to his funeral the other day and searched for ANY familiar face. I saw none. I sat alone and grieved.
When it was time to start, I saw a familiar face in the pastor and waited with everyone else for him to begin .....
At that moment, the most soul crushing, deep anguish heart breaking cries were heard from Daniel's mom. We all sat weeping with her..... FOR her. My heart broke into so many pieces for her as we all stayed put, that my soul was crying out to go to her "Why aren't we gathering around this broken mother?" I thought.
Why is it that we think we have to sit in our quiet little seats and politely wait....
"Daniel....nnnoooo"
(Sob)
"Why God? Nnoooo"
(Guttural Weeping)
"MyBaby!!"
And so it went on. While we sat. While the minister waited. While a little grandson curiously crossed the aisle to go comfort his grandma.
Why was this little one the only socially acceptable person to comfort a grieving mommy?
People around me were handing tissue boxes to one another, but not to me.... they didn't know me.
However, halfway through the service once it got started and the minister mentioned Daniel giving his life to Jesus, I noticed that not only I, but a man behind me both wept a little harder. The man behind me handed me the box of tissues.
For just a split second we looked into each other's tear filled eyes..... could it be?
When Daniel's service had ended, I turned back behind me, touched the woman who was with this other man on the leg to get her attention, nodded my head towards his weeping bent over frame and choking out one word I whispered; "Zach?"
She said "Yes"
Just then Zach looked up and crying I said to him "Zach?"
He said "I thought that was you when I handed you the tissues."
"Oh Zach," we hugged and cried and cried and hugged. After two years I was able to say "I love you, " to Zach in his time of great pain.
Mourning Daniel, hearing the cries of a broken hearted mother and longing to reach out to her, will forever be etched in my heart as one of the saddest things I've ever witnessed.
Seeing my friend and being able to wrap our arms around each other after 2 years, knowing he is doing well, engaged, and except for the circumstances that were at hand, happy, brought bittersweet Joy.
So yes, in our mourning of a departed soul who accepted Jesus as their Savior..... there is still Joy! And Hope!!!
In our mourning of life's pain and grief there is Joy in the comforting arms of a friend and the words "I love you."
And .... even though the weeping and mourning may last for a night (or sometimes a week, month, year) JOY WILL be back!! It WILL COME IN THE MORNING!!! Don't lose hope. Joy is making it's return to you.... be ready!!
Psalm 30:5 (The Message Bible)
".....The nights of crying your eyes out, give way to days of laughter."
(Christian Standard Bible)
"...Weeping may stay overnight, but there is joy in the morning."
Psalm 30:5b
"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning."
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