Redeemed

Seven years ago, at one of the lowest, darkest most painful points of my life, God told me He would redeem me. 

He told me that others wouldn't understand, and it would be hard because of that. That I would be misunderstood and not able to always defend myself. But He told me that He would redeem me and take care of it all if only I would depend on Him. 

Since then there have been plenty of times I've let Him down; I've let myself down. However, I've never stopped loving Him and He has never stopped loving me.  

Me; His baby girl. His Julie. His daughter since the beginning. I've loved Jesus all of my life. Since I was a little girl, I've wanted to be about my Father's Business. 

I've taken wrong turns, tried to fit square pegs into circles, and have paid the consequences for every single poor choice. I thought my heart would never mend completely. 

Then He did something in me the last couple of years, and especially in my 50th year on this earth; my Pentecost. 

He filled my heart so completely I no longer felt the need to fill it with anyone else. He ignited a fire in me to learn more, grow more and to seek more wisdom. He started fulfilling His calling in me since I was a child, to preach/speak to others about Him. He gave me a joy so unspeakable that others see it and ask about Him. 

For the first time in my life, I felt confident that I was handling life pretty well with Jesus as my husband. 

He put conversations into my path that I didn't seek or ask for that let me know that some of those who misunderstood me have come to understand without my ever having to say a word. He didn't have to do that!

He put new friends into my life that know me simply as Julie. I didn't realize that I even needed that, but He did. 

He's given me opportunities to love on others going through some of the same battles I've had to face and pray with them. 

He's done such a literal flip flop of my heart, that I've gone from saying through gritted teeth, hands in fists and tears streaming down my face:  "God, I love you .... But I HATE your people!" To an overflowing love and compassion for others that can only be described as God-breathed. A love and compassion so deep it could never be mine alone. 

I've gone from knowing I could never not only trust others again but I couldn't even trust me!  To being able to recognize better who is trustworthy and trusting God to help me make good choices again. 

From years of weeping, to a smile so permanent that the only reason it ever stops for tears, are usually the tears of worship and thankfulness to my Lord. Tears from a love rooted so deep for Him, that it can't help but come out in overwhelming emotions. 

He has redeemed my spirit and soul in ways I never imagined. 

I became so happy and satisfied. So dependant on Jesus alone, that I told others (and you can even read it in a past blog post) "I'm so happy with just me and Jesus, I don't NEED anything else. BUT if God wants me to be with someone at this point, I'll need Him to plop him right in front of me; say THIS IS HIM !!!  He would have to love Jesus more than me, pray with me and for me, and be a spiritual leader."

I knew there was no way I could ever settle for less again. I wouldn't do it. 

And then "PLOP!!" Enter Burdett Beucke. I've known him for a long time. We went to church together nine years ago. He and his wife and kids... Me and my husband and kids. We were all friends. We even had them over to our house for dinner and to let the kids play. As we know, I am now divorced, and four years ago, Diane, my friend and Burdetts' wife of 30 years, sadly, passed away. 

We've stayed in touch enough for a "how are you holding up?" Every couple of years, but that's been the extent. A relationship had never crossed either of our minds. 

But God....He had other plans. 

April 2022

One of those "Hi, how are you holding up's?" Changed both of our lives forever. When I asked him this question, his reply was "I'm doing great! I'm on fire for God!  I've been praying for the woman He wants me to be with. That she would.......'love Jesus more than me, and pray with me and for me.'"

I IMMEDIATELY let him know, I was in the same mode BUT ..... I'M NOT LOOKING 😂 I'm happy with just me and Jesus. I looked up to the sky and said "nope!! Not him. Not doin it. That would be too complicated, I'm scared, not ready, nope huh uh not happening"

I'll spare you all the details, 

but God.....

He reminded me that He said He would redeem! He reminded me that I'm His baby girl! And that I need someone with skin on who represents Him, in my life. 

Burdett and I  receive confirmation daily, that this is of God, that this is relationship is His perfect will, and we continue to thank Him daily for it. 

I have waited, my entire life, to be loved the way this man loves me. 

I got to the place I was ok without it, because I had enough in Jesus  I was truly, completely, overwhelmingly satisfied with Jesus.

In turn, I've always wanted to love someone the way I love him. We understand each other without words and we speak what's in each other's hearts.  Every detail that each of us has wanted in a partner, God thought of. As unworthy as we feel of this gift He's given us, we also know how extremely blessed we are and important it is to give Him all the glory!! We know He has GREAT things planned for us and we can hardly wait to see what they are. Where He leads we will follow.  Through the good and the bad, we will serve Him!! We will love Him! We will love each other. We have been Redeemed! All glory goes to Jesus!!!