A Mess and A Promise

A couple of years ago, during a Crohns flare, I had sat on my bed, with the kids just hanging out.  Dave came into the bedroom to get them and let me lay down for a while.  Just then, I got this awful sick feeling.  I thought about the fact that I had been septic two different times at that point, and "what if the next time, was the last time?"

Twice, I had been so sick, that the dr.s and nurses were amazed that I was able to get up and walk out of the hospital as quick as I did.  But what if it happened again, and I didn't Get Up and Walk?!
Then I started to think, "What if I go to bed one night and don't wake up?  What would Dave do?  How would my kids handle it?"

My heart cried out to God.  I begged Him to let me be around for my kids as they grow.  As they need someone to talk to.  As they need guidance, and have questions.  To be there when they start dating and fall in love. 

I needed a certain scripture.  I wanted to read "Fear not, for I have redeemed you;  I have called you by your name;  You are Mine!  When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;  And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.  When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned.  Nor shall the flame scorch you.  For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, Your Savior."
Isaiah 43:2-3a (NKJV)

But, for some reason, all that kept coming to my mind was Jeremiah 45.  I knew the scripture above was in Isaiah, but I kept thinking Jeremiah 45!
I went to Jeremiah 45 (The Message), thinking I was coming to the scripture about waters, and floods, and fires and comfort.

Instead I came to this;  ""You say, 'These are bad times for me!  Its one thing after another.  God is piling on the pain.  I'm worn out and there's no end in sight.  But God says, 'Look around.  What I've built I'm about to wreck, and what I've planted I'm about to rip up.  And I'm doing it everywhere - all over the whole earth!  So forget about making any big plans for yourself.  Things are going to get worse before they get better......"

WHAT!?!  Really God?  I need comfort and THIS is where You lead me???

Oh, but wait.........then I read the last sentence; "But don't worry, I'll keep you alive through the whole business."

This was even BETTER!  I knew at that moment that the Lord was speaking straight to my heart.  I knew then that, even though things might get worse, I would be around for my babies.
Never did I think about the fact that the "Things" that might get worse would be more than my health.
Although I've been septic a third time, I still walked away.  Financial crisis', but we eat and have shelter.  Car problems, but we've gotten where we NEED to be.  Personal failures, hurts so painful we never thought we'd get through, death, tragedy, a fire, floodsssss.................
The list goes on, but tonight I realized that although God promised me I would live, it was a promise that I would live through a mess!  But you know what?  It's a mess He already knows all about.  It's a mess that He knows the end of.  If I had to take a mess, in order to have a life with my kids, then bring on the Mess!  It's a mess that He promises to carry me through according to Isaiah 43!

"Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you.  I've called your name.  Your mine.  When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you.  When you're in rough waters, you will not go down.  When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end - Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior!"
(The Message)