It was so fast.....a millisecond really. I was sitting in the living room one evening a few weeks ago with the windows open. It had been so nice that day, however a cold front was blowing in later that night and I was taking in every bit of the last of the nice weather before that happened.
I grew up in a more rural area and have always enjoyed everything about Spring, Summer and Fall. I love being outside and when I'm inside, I love letting the sunshine and fresh air come in!!
This particular night a few weeks ago, I was looking straight out the window at the sun go down and the wind was starting to blow in. And that's when it happened. A breath. It was so fast, I don't think it was even a full breath. I quickly tried to breathe it in again but it was gone as fast as it blew in. I was so sad. I wanted it back!
It wasn't man made. It wasn't a nearby fire in someone's fireplace, or leaves burning or anything at all that I can describe, but a half a breath that took me to a place of complete peace and happiness. I think it was my childhood, I'm not even sure. It didn't last long enough for me to grab a hold of it. I wanted it back. It was only air, but there was such a euphoric feeling for just a split second.
Uncomplicated, free, familiar and clean, I was instantly back in time. How old, where I was, or who I was with, I don't know. But oh, what a beautiful feeling of remembering it gave me! A beautiful feeling of being completely unconditionaly loved!
Imagine that moment in a movie where the main character remembers something and they instantly do a zoom effect like being sucked back into a tunnel of a past experience.....it was a millisecond of that kind of feeling and then I was back.
I've thought about that half a breath for weeks. Leaving my window open whenever I can hoping it will come blowing in again, even if it's only another half a breath.
I believe it was God! In that moment, the peace and..... Goodness, (I really don't know how to describe it) was so overwhelming, like it was trying to make a point, and left me wanting so much more of it..... Just like God. For once you truly get a little of Him, you can't help but want more and more.
These last few years have been the hardest I've ever faced, and much of it on my own...... But God. There's so much even those closest to me have no idea about....But God.
This year, has been hard on everyone everywhere, but for me, it's been a time of learning. A time of reflecting. A time of discovering that I'm so very ok on my own..... But God.
The more I think about that small breath that gave me so much, I have to believe it was the Breath of God. Reminding me of who I am. Reminding me who He is, and who I am in Him.
In a time when we're all told to cover our mouths and noses.... How ironic is it that I breathe in the Breath of God.
I believe He's reminding me; us, to not be silenced, to not stop breathing in, to not be afraid, that He has this all under control. Just Breathe.....
Until the day I breathe in that little piece of Heaven again, I will keep my window open as long as I can. I will keep watching the sunset and waiting on the Breath from Heaven to fill me once again.
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